BUGMAN IS STINKY

FACTS ABOUT BUGMAN

• Bugman is stinky.
• Bugman has been stinky since 1987 (source: trust me).
• NASA can detect bugman's smell from orbit.
• Bugman's deodorant filed a restraining order.
• Flies hold their noses near bugman. Flies don't even have noses.

FACTS ABOUT DRED

• Dred kisses crazy women ass. This is the nicest fact on this list.
• Dred's lips have been banned in 4 countries and one Applebee's.
• Dred once lost an argument to a vending machine. The vending machine was unplugged.
• Dred's mirror asked for a day off.
• Dred thinks Wi-Fi is a type of fish.
• Dred's Spotify Wrapped was just 40 hours of dred chewing.
• Dred's crush filed a noise complaint about dred existing.
• Dred got kicked out of a clown school for being too embarrassing.
• When asked for comment, dred just puckered. Nobody asked twice.

🥃 OKAN "WHISKEY": A CERTIFIED LOSER 🥃

(the only thing aged and bitter here is Okan's personality)

• Okan "Whiskey" is the human version of a participation trophy. Nobody wanted it, everybody got one.
• Okan's face looks like it was described to a police sketch artist over a bad phone line.
• Okan gave Okan the nickname "Whiskey" because nobody else was ever going to give Okan anything.
• Okan has the personality of a wet napkin and the charm of a parking ticket.
• Whiskey gets better with age. Okan just gets older, louder and somehow dumber.
• Okan's group chat is just Okan and a bot that left.
• Okan's brain has two tabs open and both are buffering.
• Okan once lost a staring contest to a photo.
• Okan "Whiskey" walks into a room and the room immediately wants to leave.
• Okan's own reflection pretends not to know Okan.
• If Okan were a drink, Okan would be the warm flat backwash at the bottom of the bottle.

STINK-O-METER™

Current bugman stink level:

40% (MILDLY HORRIBLE)

COMMENTS 📖

Leave a comment. EVERYONE can see it. Be stinky, not evil.